I'm Doing This Because? Have a Reason That Makes Your Heart Sing

In the early 1990s I moved to upstate New York from Manhattan. The shock of seeing mountains and trees instead of skyscrapers and sewers awakened a sudden urge to learn watercolor. (Until that time, my experience in painting had been in high school art classes.)

In the beginning of the watercolor journey, I had clarity of intention. I wasn't aiming at fame or commercial success but to approach painting as a kind of active meditation. Since I was aware of the healing power of color, I believed that working directly with pigments would provide balance and vibrancy to my life. Finally, the flowing nature of watercolor appealed strongly to me.

It was important for me to have these clear intentions. It would have been also good if I'd remembered them.

While I was learning technique and developing talent, I loved painting. After a while, though, I fell prey to the lure of exhibitions and sales. I started to get less enjoyment from painting.

One of my errors was that I didn't consciously decide that I wanted my work to appear in shows and to sell them. I drifted into that longing without owning it and deliberately setting goals. My much greater error was allowing the idea of material success to both overpower and diminish the joy in the act of creation.

This is the fallacy of deferred gratification, which can be expressed as "I will be happy when ————." The foundation of this fallacy is that idea that one struggles and suffers in the service of some distant notion of happiness. Happiness is there and then, not here and now. In other words, it's never, because by the time one reaches a goal (like being juried into an artists' association, selling the first painting, etc.), one can too easily decide that the real goal is a show of one's own, the winning of an award, or whatever sits on the distant mountaintop you must scale.

I'm not speaking against goals. I'm speaking for balance and the idea that any goal that crushes the joy of creating is way too heavy.

Solution

Look at your life. Where is joy missing?

In narrow terms, maybe you used to play the piano, but when you realized you weren't going to play Carnegie Hall, you stopped.

In more general terms, maybe you used to love your job, but you became very competitive, and the idea of promotion became more important than the creativity of problem solving.

Maybe you had children because you wanted to help new beings grow and flourish, but somewhere around the 900th load of diapers, the joy drained away.

Don't let your survey discourage you. That area of your life is like a fire that's gone out from lack of tending. Go back to your original intentions and re-experience. Poke that fire until sparks begin flying. If you commit yourself to this revival, a steady flame will begin to burn. Warm yourself before it, and don't forget to add more wood.

Micromanaging the Universe

I once read an interview with Deepak Chopra in which he said that generally people spend their lives in activity and rarely, if ever, take time out for contemplation, or to simply be in their own presence, unaffected by outside distractions. We are, he concluded, not human beings, but human doings.

Lately I've been realizing how much I am a human doing. My secret (sometimes even to me) ambition is to micromanage the universe. In thinking about the source of this urge, I traced it to the fight/flight instinct.

It stems from the most primitive part of our brain, sometimes called the reptilian brain. However, what makes us different from the reptiles is that they had a more accurate perception of danger. They didn't spend most of their time fighting or fleeing.

We humans expose ourselves much more to what looks like danger. In addition to what we hear and see on news programs, other forms of media can affect us.

I was watching a program on the Internet today when a commercial came on. It advertised a TV series about a serial killer. Featured in the clip were bodies, gunfire, and blood. Anyone who watches this program will be treated to many more multisensory prods that tell the undiscriminating primitive brain that it's in danger. This kind of sensory input encourages us to see threats everywhere and magnify or misread ordinary occurrences.

INTERMISSION

I had written the first part of this blog when I had to go for a dental appointment. (Now, that is a true threat.) On my way there, I saw a car parked in my lane. It had probably broken down, and all I thought was that I would be late for my appointment. Enter road rage.

A truck pulled up behind me, blocking my view of the next lane. Then the driver got out, causing even further obstruction of my view. Magnify road rage. Then, to my surprise (and chagrin), I saw that he was directing traffic so that drivers in my lane could safely move to the other lane.

That emphasized to me that my insistence on doing could cause me to see a threat where none exists. When I came home, I made a list of the reasons why DOING is so important to me.

I'm nervous if I don't DO.
I get scared if I don't DO.
I'm afraid to BE.
They'll sneak up on me.
They'll DO.
And I'll be DONE.
I'm not worthy if I don't DO.

Then I made some notes in favor of BEING.

When I am BEING,
I'm allowing intuitions and insights to flow in.
I'm opening the door to inner creativity.
I'm receiving guidance about how and when to DO.

When I'm scared, angry, or in other ways dancing to the tune of the primitive brain, I can never find a creative solution to any problem. It's in that place of BEING that creativity flourishes. BEING conserves our mental and emotional energy and allows it to flow in the direction of a creative solution.

If you need a reminder to just be, consider doing one of the following:

If a cat is in your life, study it. Cats have the art of being down. If that cat jumps into your lap, relax into the experience, paying special attention to its purring (which may be the best tranquilizer around).

Squirrels and birds also offer opportunities for observation. They are both known to sit on branches for extended periods of time in apparent contemplation.

Basically, if you watch any animal long enough, you will find that it's a master of being.

Another of my preferred routes to being is to listen to one of my favorite Beatles songs.

Let It Be http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=RdopMqrftXs

How to Crush Your Creativity: Say "I Know."

This is an especially powerful way to crush creativity. When I KNOW, I can't learn.

In one of its most devastating forms, I KNOW equals prejudice and bigotry. If I KNOW that someone of a particular religion, sex, gender, race, age, or any other category is a certain way, or age, I prevent the ability to see anything unique and individual about that person. I can't find points of identification and communication. I lose any opportunity for a relationship with him or her.

KNOWING closes doors on opportunity, possibility, and creativity, not only in terms of the big areas of prejudice but in more immediate ways.

If you know your kid isn't going to clean her room no matter what you do, you walk into the designated health hazard day and in your mind begin to compose the dialogue for the same fight you've had for months (worst case scenario: years). You expect difficulty and resistance, and your child fulfills all your expectations because you KNOW she will.

KNOWING not only shuts the door on relationship growth with family members and friends, it can prevent you from expressing creativity in your preferred artistic pursuit, whether it's a career or not.

This happened to me all the time when I was learning to paint. I wasn't happy if I didn't achieve a near-photographic representation of whatever I was painting. That's how I KNEW it had to be.

At the same time, I wanted to be more imaginative, abstract, and exciting with my painting, but that meant taking risks. My message to myself was, " I'm afraid to change. The unknown frightens me. I have to stay with what I know."

When I Don't Listen to Myself

When I make the decision to stay safe by KNOWING, I don't listen to myself.

Our intuition and inner wisdom is always giving us new possibilities for thoughts and action. It might say, "Use that color," "Try treating your child like a human being who's interested in sanitation?" The protective self says, "Scary, unknown, dangerous, no."

To live creatively, though, we need to step off the familiar track. Creating is making something new, and sometimes that involves risks.

To do something new, you can't say "I know." Remember that "I know" equals "No." Solution

Start by noticing how often you say or think either "I know" or "No." Then do something small, a minor deviation in your routine. Listen to your intuition and do at least one thing it suggests.

Keep a record of your yes votes, and see if your life gets more interesting.

New Worlds to Gain

As I noted in a previous entry, I'm beginning to set goals for the new year. Before formally doing so, I take time to imagine what I want. One thing I know is that an individual's life doesn't change until (s)he can imagine a different way of living.

In thinking about the future, I realized I could learn from my fictional characters. In the series, A Dragon's Guide to Destiny, each main character is challenged to imagine a world very different from the one they know.

Melancholy Druid knows he's the Dragon of Destiny, but he is sure he'll fail to accomplish his purpose, in part because all humans have it in for him. Learning to trust a few humans and his own abilities will move him closer to his goal, but can he take that risk?

Tara, the Chosen Kitten, harbors a similar mistrust of humans. She also fears giant dragons. Can she imagine a world in which large and small, human and feline, can join forces?

Human Serazina has unlawful psychic gifts that could lead to her incarceration in the World for the Chronically Crazy (and that would be only the first of coming attractions). Although she must exercise those gifts for her world to be saved, she will have to risk her life to do so.

Phileas, Guardian of Oasis, lives in the tightest mental straightjacket of all, imprisoned by a rigid tradition of mental superiority that suppresses his emotional intelligence. Though he realizes that these limitations are jeopardizing the people he's sworn to guide, he fears that a world in which emotions are fully expressed will be one of chaos.

Like Druid, I often doubt my ability to succeed. I also, like Tara, sometimes question the willingness of others to cooperate in the fulfillment of my dreams. In earlier years, I felt that my gifts and talents were unrecognized by society, and I regularly check to see if this belief is resurfacing. Likewise, I know it takes commitment to keep the creativity flowing.

Each of us may have different limitations in our ability to imagine a different world, but if we want our lives to accommodate our deepest desires and dreams, we need to imagine worlds that our new selves can happily inhabit.

I used to live in a world where my novels lived only in my computer. Before that situation could change, I needed to imagine a world in which they were published, read, reviewed, etc. Without these mental architectural drawings, I had no way to begin.

Now I'm thinking it's time for me to make the stakes as high for myself as I do for my suffering fictional friends. That's going to call for a lot of imagination.

And some inspiration. If you're considering setting some high-stakes goals, you may benefit listening to the music that helped me write this blog.

Both are by John Lennon

Mind Games

Imagine

Happy New Year!

How to Crush Your Creativity: Get Discouraged

I'm not suggesting that you will never get discouraged. The key questions here are: How easily are you discouraged, and how long will you stay discouraged?

To take writing as an example, some people jump ship at the first sign of difficulty. The plot isn't gelling, the characters went AWOL, or you can't find the information you need for background research.

Others get through the writing part and give up either because some agents turn it down or because they can't figure out self-publishing details.

Whatever your source of discouragement, you will hear in the background the words, "It's just too hard." You may also hear, "It isn't fair," in which case, check out the post on resentment.

The more you repeat the unmagic phrase, "It's just too hard," the harder it will seem. Imagine that each repetition is like placing a rock in your way. Your goal is on the other side. If you say the phrase 10 times a day, that's 10 rocks. Uncontrolled repetition leads to building a wall.

Solution

Try to eliminate that phrase.

Replace it with others, such as "Maybe I can ask someone." "Maybe I can get a critique." "I might be able to find a helpful book or information online."

Remember the little train that could. Even if you're not sure you can, say, "I think I can."

How to Crush Your Creativity: Put Others First

However you express your creativity, you need undisturbed time for its expression. One of the best ways to crush your creativity is to avoid setting boundaries that others will respect.

Virgina Woolf wrote at length about the importance of having a room of one's own. With all respect, I'd take it further. You need a life of your own, one that isn't constantly interrupted by the child who can't find his shoes, the teenager who urgently needs a ride to the mall, and the mate who wants to know who used the last light bulb.

It seems to be a law that, whenever you go into that room of your own and close the door, everyone wants to open it. This, however, isn't a law of nature. Unlike the law of gravity, you can change it, but it's going to take moral fortitude, fueled by the conviction that a life of your own is important.

Solution

The key to upsetting the law of interruption is to closely examine the idea wanting time for yourself is selfish. My guide on this subject is Edward Bach, M.D., who also created the Bach Flower Remedies, designed to deal with emotional imbalances.

Many of us learned that to follow our deepest desires is to be selfish, despite Shakespeare's observation that we're true to ourselves we will be false to no one else. In Dr. Bach's view selfishness consists, not in honoring our own desires, but in interfering with the desires of others.

In other words, anyone who wants to interfere with the time you've set aside for yourself is saying, "Don't be selfish and do what you want. Be unselfish and do what I want (so I can be selfish)."

Your beloved family and friends don't think of themselves as interfering. They may be upset that something seems more important to you than them. They want reassurance. They want to know that they're LOVED.

And the truth may be that after the sixth interruption in as many minutes, you may not be overflowing with love. They're right to be worried.

Everyone's situation is unique, so you'll have to figure out the particulars of how to shift the dynamics in your relational world. You may find these general guidelines helpful.

1. Believe in yourself and in your creative urges. Honor them as if you needed them to survive and thrive. You do.

2. The more you respect yourself and your creativity, the more you will automatically draw respect from others.

3. The more you insist on fulfilling your needs, the more interest you'll have in helping others fulfill theirs.

4. To whatever extent possible, include others in your creative life. If you write paranormal fiction, ask "What's a good name for a vampire?" If you paint, ask others to be on the lookout for compelling views in nature. Do whatever works to make them feel included rather than excluded.

5. Finally, consider this analogy. If you were a car, you wouldn't say you're too busy taking people to where they need to go to stop in for a checkup/tuneup, because you know a car can't do what it has to do unless it gets serviced. Know this applies to your creative life, and communicate it to others.

Creativity and the Dreaded “Mommy Guilt”

Connie has written some excellent blog posts in the past about how effective guilt is at stifling creativity; I know this firsthand.



Ever since I became a mother, almost a year ago now (although it doesn’t seem like that long ago!), I’ve been battling the dreaded “Mommy Guilt.” It doesn’t matter that I took a year off from my high-pressure position as an editor and inhouse author in trade publishing (and recently resigned from it) because I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, I still often feel guilty about the hours I spend each day on my keyboard, freelancing part-time as a “book doctor” and editor. Most of those hours occur when she is tucked away in bed for the night, slumbering sweetly, but some of them necessitate her going to nursery school two days a week.



However, as my girl grows and increases in independence by the day, I’m beginning to realize that—even if it means late nights and sacrificing some time with my child and a good deal of my social life—my work has benefits for her as well as for me (and for our household in general). For me, my work in the creative arts is not a luxury: it is a necessity. While I devote much of my time to freelance editing, and sometimes begrudge that it doesn’t allow me enough time to write, I am one of those lucky individuals who can say, for a fact, that I truly love what I do. It is my passion. I love taking a diamond in the rough and polishing it up to add more facets. I love helping other authors make their work the best it can be.



For my daughter, my passion for my work means that she not only gets to see firsthand the value of having a strong work ethic, but that she will also grow up appreciating that work should be a delight, something you actively look forward to doing. Already, I am seeing the shoots of her own burgeoning creativity as she indulges in her daily play. My love for the written word has also inspired in her a love of books. Even at just one year of age, she loves to carefully turn the pages (now recognising that pages are for turning and not for tearing) and to point to the bright pictures. Spending time reading to my darling is quality time, and although she is too small yet to fully understand the stories I write for her, I hope that one day they will number among her favourites.



When she was very small, my guilt at snatching short, private moments to write was overwhelming—and sometimes paralysing. But as she grows, I’m realizing that she, too, actively values time spent alone in creative play. She doesn’t always want an adult playing with her or hovering over her; sometimes she wants to explore objects in solitary (although supervised) reflection.



Interestingly, my book of short stories, “Cage Life,” although written some years ago before I became a mother, deals with themes relating to guilt and freedom in motherhood. In it, a young mother longs for the carefree life she once led, which leads to disastrous consequences. Now that I am a mother, it is probably not a story I could bear to write, but I still feel that it explores many of the wistful, private moments that mothers, particularly first-time moms, struggle with: the loss of a singular identity; the guilt; the longing for freedom, either creative or just a few hours to take a long bath or to go to the hairdresser. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother. My child will always be my greatest work, and a work-in-progress for my entire life. But, as a creative, I also know that I have other children—children stuffed away in drawers and hastily scribbled upon in brief snatches.



My advice to all new mothers who write, and who are struggling to find the time to be creative while keeping up with diaper changing, feeding, playing with and consoling babies, is that we should try not to feel guilty about anything that rounds us out and makes us who we truly are. Our children need us to be ourselves, with all of our passion, creativity and individuality intact. It is how they learn the value of those elements to humanity. And if nothing else, writing provides an escape from the everyday that is empowering and fully imaginative. We may be covered in baby vomit, have been up since 5 am, and really, really need to mop the floor sometime today, but in our heads we can be dancing flamenco, solving murder mysteries, trying to eke out a living on an alien world, or any manner of other exciting possibilities. So guilt be damned! Tonight she is sound asleep and for those silent hours in between the little cries in the night, I’m not a just a mommy, I’m a writing mommy, and write I will!

Karin’s book of short stories Cage Life is available from Amazon US http://www.amazon.com/Cage-Life-ebook/dp/B005DC6AHM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332765096&sr=8-1
Amazon UK http://www.amazon.co.uk/Cage-Life-ebook/dp/B005DC6AHM/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1332765161&sr=8-1
Her book of poetry, Growth is available from:
Amazon US http://www.amazon.com/Growth-ebook/dp/B005D5RCD0/ref=ntt_at_ep_dpt_2

Amazon UK Growth
Barnes & Noble http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/growth-karin-cox/1104361734?ean=2940011380730&itm=2&usri=karin+cox
Follow Karin’s blog at www.karincox.wordpress.com
Read more about Karin’s work www.editorandauthor.com
Follow Karin on twitter @Authorandeditor
Or Facebook www.facebook.com/KarinCox.Author

How to Crush Your Creativity: Feel Guilty

Guilt sometimes involves self-criticism, which was described in an earlier post. However, the kind of self-criticism I described involved tearing your work apart, condemning yourself for even thinking talent lurks somewhere within you, and similar acts of self-sabotage.

Guilt as it relates to creativity, is less related to the actual creative project. It has much more to do with stepping beyond the limitations you may have learned as a child.

Here's an example from my childhood. My father had dreams of becoming a minister. However, he made what he thought was a more practical choice, graduating from college with an engineering degree. Because he made a choice that didn't come from his deepest desires, he went into his work life with an attitude of resentment that deepened into total dislike of his job, a dislike that he never hesitated to share with the family that depended on his income for survival.

Even though his career decision had been made before he got married and had children, in telling us how he'd had to give up his dreams, he made us the cause of his great life's disappointments. Illogical as this was, young children, who rely on their parents for their understanding of the world, are inclined to choose loyalty over logic.

It took me years to figure out how thoroughly I'd been programmed to believe that you weren't supposed to like your job. Whenever I had the opportunity to switch careers and choose one I would enjoy, I managed to talk myself out of doing so.

Finally I uncovered the truth: that I felt guilty about the idea that I could enjoy my work life much more than my father (who had allegedly sacrificed his happiness for his children) ever did. Once I managed to cut the unconscious ties of guilt, it was surprisingly easy to make creative choices and create a career that totally thrilled me.

Solution

Ask yourself if you're afraid of having too much fun in your career/work life and why this is so.

If you can relate this to dissatisfaction on the part of either of your parents in their jobs, explore this connection.

Ask yourself how your dissatisfaction can increase their happiness. You may find reasons: Your success could make them feel like failures. They could feel that you are disloyal to the family.

You can tease out answers by imagining telling your parents how happy you are in your career, how much you enjoy the money you make and the creative opportunities. Imagine their responses. (This works whether they are alive or not.)

Finally, make a choice. You can choose to be loyal to your family or you can take the risk of independence and happiness.

How to Crush Your Creativity: Shut Down

I could describe this with other words: apathy, indifference, or resignation. I used the phrase, "shut down" because it's an action that illustrates the above emotions. What you shut down are the sensory, emotional, and caring mechanisms.

No one likes your idea? Who cares?

You just got another rejection for a creative project? So what?
You haven't had an original idea in three months? Big deal.

You're starting to feel dull, slightly rancid, and claustrophobic? It's better than getting hurt or having your hopes raised, only to have them crash once more to the ground.

A brief interval of being shut down probably does no harm. When the heart aches beyond endurance and the nerve endings are beyond frayed, a period of retreat provides a vacation for the overwrought. "Brief," however, is the defining adjective.

Beneath the layer of anesthesia that numbs the pain, your imagination, hopes, and dreams still live. If you continually suppress them, you could end up feeling far unhappier than you did when you were suffering defeat. There's a good reason for this: the only one responsible for this pain is you, and you know it.

Solution

If you've reached the point where you can't conjure up any enthusiasm for either continuing a current project or starting a new one, allow yourself a vacation, but, if you can, skip the Novocaine.

Spend your checking-out time enjoying yourself. Be with friends. Express your creativity by enjoying that of others. Listen to music you love, read, watch movies. Be kind to yourself and look for ways to make yourself happy.

Get back to where you once belonged. Ask yourself why you express your creativity? Is it for the approval of others? Or is it because it gives you pleasure to do so? If you can remember that you do it for the love of it, you're on the road to reliving that feeling. Once the feeling is renewed, the creative spark that gives you life will re-ignite, and its fire will warm you once again.

How to Crush Your Creativity: Be Self-Critical

To get clear on this, we need to distinguish between "criticize" and "critique" and throw in the word "evaluate."

We need to evaluate the work we're doing. If I'm writing something (as I am now), I want to stop and see if the words make sense and if they will communicate what I mean.

However, even with the supposedly neutral process of evaluation, timing is everything. If I stop to check every word, my creative motion gets stalled. In the beginning stages of a creative process, it's often more effective to let it have its way and evaluate it once the burst of energy has slowed down or stopped.

Evaluation that says, "I think this word/idea would be better than the original" and goes on to make the replacement can enhance the creative process. Criticism is a different species.

Criticism says, "That's the stupidest idea I ever heard. I really have no talent. I should give up before it's too late." Too late, to use an architectural analogy, can mean that if you continue building your idea/project, it's going to crumble. It also means "Quit before someone else finds out how stupid you are and laughs at you or punishes you."

In psychological terms, criticism is the voice of a parent speaking to a child, a voice you've internalized. You learned to summon and hear its voice because you didn't want to get punished, whether that punishment was physical or humiliation. The critical voice punishes you in advance in order to save you from worse.

Solution

Self-criticism is deadly. Sometimes people stumble into the practice of criticizing themselves for being self-critical. Don't.

Here's another solution that won't work: Give up creative expression so that you won't hear the critical voice. That voice is on constant combat mode. If it can't criticize you for stupid thinking, it will criticize you for forgetting something or for how you tie your shoelaces. You need to face it.

Antidotes to the poison of self-criticism can include the following.

Tell yourself that it's okay if the first round (or the second or third) aren't perfect.

Even better, give up on the idea of perfection. Replace that notion with one of doing the absolute best you can.

Don't criticize. Evaluate. Instead of focusing on how bad something is, focus on what would improve it.

Don't pound away at it. Sometimes it's best to walk away and come back later.

If you feel really stuck, ask your inner wisdom, first trusting that you have it. You do; it's part of the software in the package that accompanied you into this world. Say, "I ask for an answer" or whatever wording works best for you.

Finally, as much as you may want to hate this voice, bear in mind that it originated in an attempt to save you pain. Sometimes the most useful act is to thank it for its efforts and tell it you don't need it any more.

How to Crush Your Creativity: Anger

Anger is somewhat different from other emotions categorized as negative because sometimes the biggest problem we have with it is that we don't want to feel it. Many people have been raised to believe that anger is destructive, uncivilized, and overall, not very nice.

Attitudes are quite different in the world of animals. I have seen tiny kittens hiss and shriek with all their might when a big dog approaches them. Sometimes it's not the biggest but the loudest that wins or prevents a battle.

When we hold anger inside ourselves, we become candidates for high blood pressure, ulcers, and a number of other conditions. Anger, when used constructively, can relieve stress. When repressed, it creates stress.

Unexpressed anger also has a strong tendency to turn into the sour bile of resentment. (See previous post, no, not the cat. I understand he has no trouble expressing anger. It's the one before that.)

Solution
Give yourself an outlet for expressing your anger. For years I've recommended to my clients that they write down everything they'd like to say to someone with whom they're angry. Don't hold back. Say every terrible, vicious, and vindictive thing that you're feeling.

If you happen to be living with that person, put the file somewhere that it won't be found. Why not delete it? I would highly recommend and even urge that you do this eventually. However, I often find it helpful to cool down and read the letter a while after I've written it.

Once the heat has been dissipated, you may discover that some of the things you wrote range from ridiculous to hilarious. You may wonder why you were so upset about some of the subjects you covered.

These realizations help to train your awareness. The next time you feel anger coming on, you may have the mental acuteness to ask yourself if this is really such a big deal. That needn't stop you from writing about it. However, you might melt a few less keys as you do so.

Let me reemphasize: The release of anger is healthy, but the degree of healthiness depends on how it's released.

Oh, and don't forget to delete that document.

Interview with Author Mike Cooley

Mike Cooley, a 9-to-5 engineering consultant, musician, Egypt enthusiast, and husband and father, tells us how these various factors influence his writing.

Since my blog is about creativity, I'm especially interested in your creative process as a writer and also how you came to develop and believe in your creativity.

I consider my creativity and imagination to be my strongest abilities as a writer. My process has evolved over time from just having a basic idea or concept (“What if?”) and building a story around it to being more organized and character-driven. Until last year I was primarily a short story writer. I grew up reading science fiction and fantasy books, which fueled my imagination. I am attracted to writing that is very visual and deals with the nature of existence, so I try to incorporate some of those things in my own writing.


Would you describe yourself as a creative child? Did you make up stories or express creativity in other ways?

I think my parents would say I was off the charts with creativity and curiosity. I was always taking things apart and putting them back together.

My Dad loves to tell the story about when I bought my first computer (Apple II+) and the next day I had it completely apart. He was astonished when I put it back together and it still worked. I read every science fiction and fantasy book in the library while I was in grade school, and took Creative Writing (mostly because I wanted to avoid Speech Class). I wrote short stories and poetry as well. I taught myself electronics and used to build all kinds of circuits.


What inspired you to write your first book?

I started my first novel many years ago. I’ve always had a love for “artifact” stories, so I wanted to write a novel that was about magical artifacts (in this case crystals) that each had unique powers. I am also very fond of strong female characters so I wanted the story to revolve around a female warrior that would be able to use the crystals. I was excited about writing a novel set in a world that had no ties to Earth, so I could make everything up from scratch.

You're a musician as well as an author. Do you find that these creative paths affect each other in distinct ways?

Very much so. My music is all original and I primarily operate as a one-man band. I find music to be inspiring in many ways, and I find that writing lyrics IS storytelling. It’s just a lot more like poetry than novels. I think that writing music has taught me that sometimes the things you don’t say can be as important as the things you do say. You don’t have to say everything and spell everything out. Let the reader (or listener) write some of the story in their own head.

I notice your interest in Egypt. How does this involvement feed into your creative paths?

The trip to Egypt was completely due to my wife’s involvement in Middle Eastern Dance (she’s a belly dancer and instructor). I was not that enthused about going, but it was a rather amazing place. I’m glad I went. I’m writing a non-fiction book about it now called Before The Revolution – 13 Days In Egypt. I have many ties to Egypt even predating the trip.

One of my good friends had a music site called Anubes (spelled differently on purpose) where a small group of us used to hang out and work on our craft. I have worn an Eye of Horus ring for many years (along with a Thor’s Hammer necklace). That’s kind of the way I am. I don’t play by the rules.

I find various mythologies fascinating. And I experienced things in Egypt that I carry with me. It is a powerful place emotionally and intellectually.

What are your literary influences?

I have many influences. And I’ve met many writers at science fiction conventions over the years. To name just a few of my favorites, I would say: Phillip K. Dick, James Tiptree Jr., Roger Zelanzy, Theodore Sturgeon, H.P. Lovecraft, Samuel Delany, Stephen King, and Harlan Ellison. That should give you a flavor for the kind of writing I’m drawn toward.

You work as an engineering consultant during the day and write at night. How do you switch gears?

It’s not easy. The biggest challenge for me is finding time to write. I’m so busy at work and at home that often, by the time I have an hour to write, I’m too tired to concentrate. If I have time to sit down, I can fall right back into the story pretty easy. I also tend to work on three or four writing projects at a time, so I switch around a lot. I’m a terrible single-tasker, but I multi-task well. I used to get upset at not being able to concentrate on one thing at a time, but now I just accept that that is how I am and deal with it.

How does having a child in your life enhance your creativity?

Kieran constantly reminds me of the most important thing about storytelling: capturing the sense of wonder. He is so unlike me in many ways. He’s much more social than I ever was. And he needs that social feedback and support. I was a loner as a kid, and it really didn’t bother me that I didn’t fit in. It was a source of pride for me that I was different.

He is a good example for me and I draw things from his words and actions that sometimes end up in the more playful characters I write.

Do you feel that being an indie writer gives you greater scope for your creativity and literary imagination?


I absolutely feel that being an indie is where I was meant to be. My story is my story. I feel very strongly about that.
Other than spelling and grammar editing, I WANT to be on the line for every word I write. I am happy that I’m not locked into deadlines (other than the ones I impose on myself), and I love that I can write in multiple genres if I want to. I cover a lot of my reasoning in my non-fiction rant Traditional Publishing Is My Bitch.

What advice would you give someone who is hesitant to express his/her creative urges?

My advice is: life is short to not do what you love. Don’t be afraid to fail. Somewhere out there are readers that will instantly understand what you are saying. They will hang on every word and make you proud. You are good enough.

And you will get better. Without risk there is no reward. Just do it! Don’t make me come over there!


Now that you've met Mike, get to know his work.

The Crystal Warrior: Legend of the Crystals.

Skin of Giants

Visit him at http://mikecooleyfiction.com

and at Twitter: @last_writes

After the Storm

Sometimes I think the most creative people alive are weather forecasters. Unfortunately, they usually inspire fear. If you look at the August 16 post, entitled "What Keeps Us From Being Creative?", you'll notice that this is the subject of that blog entry.

In summary: A single-celled organism can move towards a situation, which is growth, or away from it, which is self-preservation. It can't, however, do both at the same time. When we're afraid, our self-preservative instincts come to the fore. Only if we understand this mechanism and are capable of understanding and neutralizing the triggers from the subconscious mind that say, "Run! Hide! Be fearful!," can we turn a frightening situation into an opportunity for growth.

If I were to grade myself on my response to what in my area was called a tropical storm, on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give myself somewhere between a 5 and a 6. When I caught myself sinking into abject terror, I would meditate, call on angels, and circle the house (and the many, many trees surrounding it) in white light.

I also did many practical things to make the overall conditions safer. These, too, reassured me.

I told myself that I would do my best to be an observer, reminding myself that this might someday be valuable data for a scene in a book.

I also reminded myself that waiting for it to happen was much worse than the event would probably be.

That's why I said I did fairly well. While the winds whipped the trees and pounding rain lashed the windows, I read on my Kindle (which I'd remembered to charge ahead of time). I'd also remembered to download a number of books, just in case I needed distraction for coming days of no electricity.

I was very fortunate. No trees on my property came down. I was only without electrical power for 12 hours, and Internet service returned the following morning. I am very grateful. I've had a creative and productive week.

Next time I will do even better.

Prioritizing: Step 3Getting Specific

I recently saw a video that said you should always do the thing you hate most to do first. My first reaction was that this was the worst suggestion I ever heard. For me, it seemed to be a recipe for oversleeping in order to avoid doing THAT THING.

My second reaction was that maybe it was a good idea. If you're going to spend all day dreading that worst thing, you're not going to get a lot of pleasure from doing the things you ordinarily enjoy. That messes up the day.

At the same time, I don't want to do any worst thing if I haven't worked my way up to it. By that I mean:

I've gone through Step 2 (in the previous post). I figure out why it's the worst thing. I hate to make a dental appointment because they're going to hurt me, and it's going to be expensive. I'm going to feel victimized and angry.

Notice these are my expectations. Regarding the dental and financial pain, I can choose how I react to each. I've noticed that I've learned a lot about my attitudes towards by money whenever I experience pain about spending. So I can tell myself I'll be learning a lot from the experience. It's not the most lighthearted experience, but I look for what value I can get from it.

I have control about whether I feel victimized and angry. Here's where I go back to the subconscious mind. What benefit do I get from feeling victimized? If you ever had a sibling hit you and you ran to your mother to blow the whistle on the perpetrator, you might find some clues. Anger can protect us from the vulnerability that gets aroused by pain.

I conclude that doing the worst thing first is only a good idea if you've taken some of the charge out of it. Otherwise, it's like turning on your car engine in subfreezing weather and revving up to a high speed immediately. Bad things can happen. Don't let them happen to you.

Priorities, Part 2

In the last post (June 27), I wrote about how a sense of priorities can get distorted by what we learn about our parents' and other significant adults' expectations of us in that area.

Because so much of what we learn as children resides in our subconscious minds, it takes awareness to recognize that programs are running us that we absorbed without any selective sifting. Because of that, we may not recognize that we have two basic sets of responses to accomplishment: the desire to please and the desire to displease.

The desire to please is the desire for approval and reward. (Sometimes the approval is the reward, but sometimes we're looking for more substantial and material gratification.) Essentially, we don't know we did well unless we get the gold star, the gold ring, or some other form of outside approval.

The desire to displease is the desire for autonomy. We don't want our accomplishments to depend on the approval of others. We do everything we can to make sure we don't get that approval. However, that resistance is as much a reaction to outside forces as the submission of the approval seekers.

I think that most of us have both kinds of reactions in varying degrees. Some may be approval seekers most of the time, with occasional moments of rebellion. For others, rebellion dominates.

Neither mental condition leads to making sensible and creative choices about what we want to accomplish.

This is step two of prioritizing: Ask yourself why you want to or don't want to do whatever is on your agenda? For example, does the idea of paying your bills makes you want to gag (assuming you have the money to do so), or do you feel such anxiety that you pay all bills weeks ahead of time? The advance payment is fine, but the force that drives you to do it might be a problem. Are you either compelled or revolted by a grim parental voice telling you that responsible people pay their bills?

If you hesitate about the creative writing course you want to take, do you hear a parental voice saying that creativity will never pay the bills?

Listen for those voices. They have a lot to tell you.

You Don't Have to Know What's Wrong to Make it Right

You Don't Have to Know What's Wrong To Make It Right

The other day I was trying to fix a page on one of my web sites. (I do my own html coding.) No matter what I did, the correct version of the web page wouldn't upload. It was getting towards the end of the day, so, despite my temptation to beat this problem to the ground, I left it for later.

The following morning I fixed the problem with no difficulty. I never figured out out what technical problem had caused it to not work the day before, but I decided it didn't matter, as long as the issue was resolved.

Now I have to learn how to apply the same casual attitude to life's problems.

Maybe because so many of us are indirectly influenced by Freudian thought, we believe that in order to solve a problem, whether it's physical, mental, or emotional, we have to burrow down to the deepest roots and discover the what, when, and why of the original problem.

Sometimes that's a good idea. A person who becomes traumatized every time she has to drive on a bridge will most effectively overcome this issue if she can discover and dissolve the original trauma. (This is a foundational practice of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), which I employ every day.)

Sometimes, though, rooting around in the past and reliving just how awful it was can have a negative effect on our ability to create in the present and the future. I've known too many people who decided they were so irreparably damaged that no amount of self-help, rehabilitation, or positive thinking could pull them from the quicksand of personal history.

To get stuck in such beliefs robs us of our creative abilities. It says that forces outside ourselves have greater power than we do. It stains the bright colors of possibility with the dark hues of what was.

I don't recomment pretending the past never happened, but letting it pull us back prevents the future from pulling it forward. Don't let the past overshadow the promise of what is to be. Yeats said it far better than I could in the poem, The Two Trees:

Gaze no more in the bitter glass
The demons, with their subtle guile,
Lift up before us when they pass,
Or only gaze a little while.

(The complete text of this poem is at http://www.poetry-archive.com/y/the_two_trees.html

Gaze instead into that which inspires and encourages you. Again quoting Yeats:

Beloved, gaze in thine own heart.

At any time, we always have two choices: fear or love. Fear shreds our ability to joyously create. Love is the great enhancer of all creativity.

What are you choosing today?

The Creative Path Has Potholes

The creative process, no matter what you're creating, encounters moments of discouragement. It is at such moments that we often feel most alone. We know that, while others can sometimes shine a light to help us through the darkness, ultimately this process, in both its high and low moments, comes from within us.

I post this quote as a reminder that even in the moments of feeling alone, we tread a path where others have passed.

"And you know of course that many times before I finish this book I shall hate it with a deadly hatred. I shall detest the day when I started it. It will seem the poorest piece of crap that was ever set down. This feeling will reach a fine peak on about the 500th page. Once I pass that I will continue to work in a state of shock. And when it is done I will be lost for a long time." John Steinbeck, from Journal of a Novel, his detailed account about writing East of Eden

If you're interested in reading this book, it's available at http://www.amazon.com/Journal-Novel-East-Eden-Letters/dp/0140144188

The Bear Walked By

Yesterday evening, as I sat at the computer, I noticed a dark, shaggy form in the yard. I was sure I knew what it was.

In early June, yearling male bears are evicted from the family home and sent off to start new lives elsewhere. For reasons unknown to me, my back yard is on their route.

Upon confirming that it was indeed a bear, I went upstairs to make sure it didn't topple the big garbage can that sits at the beginning of the driveway. It gave the can a sniff and proceeded on its way.

What does this have to do with creativity? When I first moved to the Catskills in 1993, I was, due to a traumatic encounter with a bear in Yellowstone National Park, terrified of bears. The idea that one could lounge in my own yard literally immobilized me. Now I'm pretty casual about a siting--not that I plan to turn one into a pet.

Imagination makes the difference. In the past, I imagined the worst, envisioning many creative forms of death. Last night I used my creativity to wonder what it might be like to be a young bear, still small in bearish terms, alone for perhaps the first time in its life, unsure of its future.

We can create anything with our imagination. What did you create today?

The Beauty of Junk

"To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk." -Thomas Edison

People who don't use their inventive abilities spend their lives tripping over various forms of junk that are aspects of their lives. Maybe the junk is a job whose moving parts have begun to rust. It might be a relationship that's coming to a creaking halt. It could be the feeling that each day is going to be like the one that preceded it.

To be inventive means looking at that pile of junk and imagining a different way to arrange its parts. Maybe some parts have to be thrown away, and others need to be polished or filed.

For example, your primary relationship might not be running well. Imagine its elements: you, the other person, the various ways in which you communicate and work together (or against each other). Maybe the junk is resentments or anger held over from the past that are gumming up the moving parts. Maybe you've given up on the hope that anything can change. You might think you need a new relationship, but maybe you need a new vision.

What would happen to the pile of junk in your life if you looked at it as a potential masterpiece? You might not invent a light bulb, but you could light up your world.

Creating Can Be Easy

Recently I listened to an interview with Carol Look, who teaches EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and who has created some very useful teaching tools in audio and DVD form.

In the interview she described how, if you're in a negative mood, you can shift your focus. Some of the methods she listed were petting your cat or dog, taking a walk in nature (which can include a city park), and listening to music you love.

This may sound simplistic, and I'd rather say it's simple, by which I mean easy. Because of its ease, simple methods for changing one's mood get overlooked. We are so trained to believe that only the complicated and difficult methods can help us change our lives. That's another way of saying we must struggle and suffer so that we appreciate the achievement of our goals.

The trouble is, after a long journey of struggle and suffering, we are often too exhausted to be appreciative. We'd rather take a nap.

When we, instead keep it simple, we're able to enjoy the journey. The purring cat or tail-wagging dog, the pleasure of watching birds fly, or the pure enjoyment of music you love are their own rewards. When we change our focus, we aren't waiting to be happy. We are happy and ready for more.

What could be more creative?